Coulrophobia

It's official. Children really are afraid of clowns. All this time we've heard stories claiming it was true. But now there is a study to prove it.

Don't tell Barnum and Bailey though. They flatly disagree.

I tend to agree with the circus pros. Believe it or not, I have trained and worked as a clown. And I know a bit about the clown business. While I have seen clowns that even I was afraid of (there's a big difference between amateur and professional clowns), most are not all that bad.

I first discovered the art of clowning in a book I found in the library. Later I found an ad in the newspaper, "Be a Clown! Come to Clown School!" I called the number and promptly enrolled in the class.

The experience, however, was not what I had hoped. I completed the training, which was sponsored by "Uncle Ed's Party Clowns," and thus obligated to sign a 5-year no-compete contract with Ed. I could work for Ed, but I couldn't branch out on my own, unless of course it was a volunteer event for a friend.

I also felt a bit out of place among my clown peers. Most amateur clowns are either old retired Shriners or women. There were very few younger guys (except in the professional clowning world) involved. And let's face it, it is a weird job/hobby to pursue.

I never ended up working for Ed but I did do a couple of volunteer events at a local school. I was also a bit of an amateur magician and juggler so I incorporated this into my act along with the balloon animals and other clown things. All the kids seemed to love it.

But one thing I remember from Uncle Ed, as a clown, you should never approach a child, let the child approach you. Because face it, something covered in brightly colored clothes and face paint that is twice your size would be scary to anyone.